My first red flag day

Hmmmmmm - the less said about that the better!

I've done a lot of contemplating and thinking this morning and I'm wondering why am I here? What am I aiming to achieve? Do I really want this round to be another wasted round?

The answers are simple: I'm here to lose weight, I am aiming to achieve a loss of 15kg. No I don't want this to be another wasted round.

So the reason for my contemplating was this last weekend where I had absolutely no self control. On Saturday my mother in law paid a visit (we don't see her often due to the distance between where we live). Lovely lady! Anyway she turns up with clothes for my boys and some clothes for my husband, which we are eternally grateful for. And then she turns to me and hands me 3 containers and says "I feel bad because I never bring you anything, so I've done some baking". Oh Lordy me....There was banana cake, fruit cake and anzac biscuits. And of course I shrugged my shoulders and dug on in. Then our planned lunch went out the window so off I went to take my son to a birthday party and all the food that was laid out was just too much to resist on an empty stomach. I guess on a plus (if there is one at all) I was so stuffed I didn't have dinner that night.
Then Father's day - a sausage sizzle! I did try and moderate my intake of bad food. Then last night my husband asked if we could have Thai for dinner. SIGH.....OK, just let me twist my rubber arm. So he came home with a Penang Beef and a mixed entree....Of course I had absolutely no self control and dug in.

This morning I weighed myself...(I know we're not meant to) and not surprisingly I had gained 2kg since last wednesday! Disgusted with myself I started to dish out the blame...My MIL baked..I couldn't be rude and not eat it. It was father's day. And then as I always do, I start to remind myself that it's not anyone elses fault. It's mine. I need to learn to say NO. I need to remind myself why I'm here, why I need to do this.

So I've pulled my finger out, I've looked at my commitment. I've reminded myself why I'm here, why I started. What I want and need to achieve. I am going to give this round my all! Just like I did in round 1.

On a brighter note, I had a awesome SSS this week, some of the local 12wbt gals got together at one of our local lookouts called The Skillion. It is leg breaking to walk up there, some girls jog it (power to them). So we did our SSS exercises and climbed the skillion in between each exercise. Burnt a cool 713 cals. I had to get home otherwise I would have stayed and burnt the full 1000. Next week!

This is the view from the top of the skillion!

This is me and my buddy -  It was cold!

Week 1 weigh in and SOOO many red flags

Happy to say I am exactly the same weight I was last Wednesday, which was the final weight for round 2. When I weighed myself one Sunday morning I'd put on 600g after are rather indulgent weekend. But with 2 days of clean eating and sticking to my calories I am back at last weeks weight. I am closer to 80 than I am to 90 and I'm a weight I haven't been in over 10 years. Squeeeeee!

Last night I was diarising my red flags and I have to admit I'm a little scared. Lets me honest I really have no self control when it comes to food and to have so many red flags is a little daunting and I'm really going to have to plan out those red flags so I don't jeopardise my final 12wbt.

Here's a sample for you
- Fathers Day - usually a indulgent day filled with deliciously rich food and a steady flow of alcohol.
- A pre-planed cheese and wine afternoon with some girlfriends to discuss our upcoming camping trip
- Our local 12wbt crew finale/welcome party
- A week of camping (Gulp) thankfully one of the other mum's is also on 12wbt this round and I think we'll only be sharing dinners so everything else I should be able to control.
- My neice/nephew's birthday party
- Bathurst weekend: another indulgent weekend filled with lots of food and alcohol
- My Mum's birthday
- My son's birthday
- Icehouse concert
- 12wbt Finale party

WOW I am really going to have to be organised and flex my willpower muscle.

Until next time
LJx

Peeks head around corner....Hello is anyone still here?

Well I'm not sure if anyone's still out there. But today I am making my return to blogging.

Round 2 wasn't so great for me. I really feel like I let everyone down. I managed to lose 7.8kg, but if you add to that the 3kg I put on in between rounds, it's really not that good considering how well I did in round 1. and that ladies & gents is I believe where I went wrong. I got complacent. Gosh give a girl a few compliments and she thinks she is the supreme goddess of weight loss.

I've now laid round 2 to rest and I am back and feeling confident to finally shed myself of the last 15kg.

This is my commitment -

My commitment to myself, to my family, to Mish and to the 12wbt community is to eat clean for the next 12 weeks and beyond. To build up my exercise and to learn to run for longer periods of time. I commit to blogging regularly and participating on the forums. I commit to never analysis anything on this program, I will JFDI. I commit to taking my vitamins every day and watching all of the weekly video's. Most importantly I commit to being kinder to myself and acknowledging how far I've actually come.

I'm feeling excited and quietly confident. I'm even considering ordering my finale dress now in a size 12 as extra incentive. 

So I'm hoping I still have a few people out there who are keen to read my blog, cause "baby I'ma back!"

Whats wrong with me??

I have had a horrible few weeks. I've done nothing right...I've put on weight...I am beside myself with loathing and shame. I just don't know what is wrong with me.
Everything I promised I would do from my last blog...I haven't! I am an absolute deadset mess.

I want to blame my mother...who turned up with cake the other day...she hates that I'm losing weight when she can't. I want to blame everyone ...It seriously can't be my fault that I'm turning back into a fat little piggy.
But no sadly this is my fault and I am at a deadset loss to understand why....Why? did I do so well last round and why? am I struggling so much this round?
I am beside myself....I have been sponsored this round...which means I have to succeed and I'm not. I am letting other people down...People who have believed in me....I'm sorry :(

I feel myself slipping into the dark place I was in many years ago where I had no control and I don't understand why...I am healthier than I've been in years and thinner. But I can't seem to maintain it and I feel so useless..All the joy and awesomeness I felt from last round is slipping. I have been in contact with a few people that I think have helped in making me feel this way..
I got myself a buddy (a FB inspired idea) and I've hardly heard from her, even though I've tried a few times to make contact...clearly I should have requested someone as F%^ked up as me. I also reached out to a local girl and sadly I seemed to have done something to annoy her too..all my msg's and emails have gone un-answered after our first meeting.

Even though I feel like a massive failure....I have a few plans in tact..I have bought and planned for week 6, I have had a lovely chat with another awesome 30+ gal (whom I've always admired from afar). I don't want to be a failure...I don't want people to say to me .."I knew you couldn't do it" I don't want to be this miserable, sad person I thought I'd said goodbye to.

I do deserve this.
I'm sorry this has been a tad dis-jointed

Round 1 was so easy!

I am on struggle street and I don't understand why round 2 has been such hard work for me.

Round 1 was so easy, I did what I was meant to do, I followed the program 100% (well...95%). I exercised I ate cleanly...It was just so easy, I JFDI.

Round 2 has been a completely different story. I seem to be lacking the motivation I had in round 1, which is insane as I still have just under 20kg to lose.
Don't get me wrong, I have lost weight this round. I've welcomed back my dear old friend "the 80's" and I am so very close to merely being overweight as opposed to obese. I am starting to love the way I look again, my clothes are falling off me. These things should be the biggest motivation ever to keep going.

My plan as I sit here is to go back and revisit my goals and watch all of the video's..I need to find my mojo, my focus and motivation. I need to recommit to 12wbt and get rid of this final 18kg. I need to do something, because the way I'm going at the moment, it won't be long until I'm back up over 100kg and really that is just not acceptable!

:(

Blogger Challenge Week 3 - Motivation

Thanks to Jayne here is this weeks challenge topic. Motivation!

Here are the questions

what motivates you?

In a nutshell, my boys motivate me. I am married to my childhood sweetheart, who I still adore after nearly 20 years together. We have 3 gorgeous, cheeky boys, who are 9, 6 and 1. Our oldest son has asd. I want to set a good example for them. I want my boys to grow up and have a healthy relationship with food and exercise. I don't want them to look at me and think that it's ok to let yourself go. I think probably my biggest motivator is that I don't want my kids to be embarrassed by me.

What drives you to be a better version of yourself? 

I don't want to be shy any more. I used to dance and act in stage plays. I absolutely loved it. I would love to do that again. I want to have self confidence in myself again. I want to love myself again.

What is making you just get up early with no excuses and just getting out there getting your workout done and eating healthy meals.

Truth be known, I don't always get up early. In fact I rarely do. But I always exercise at some stage during the day. I always try to make plans to meet people and then I feel guilty if I don't turn up. With the food, that's easy I love clean eating now on the occasion that I have a blow out I always end up feeling revolting and it always remind's me of why I'm here and what I'm trying to achieve

What makes you push that little bit harder? 

I think a fear of failing makes me push that little bit harder and an overwhelming desire to prove to myself that I'm not worthless and I really, really can JFDI.

I wanted to share with you my Inspiration board that I did for the weekly task.

I really am a runner

Well that's what the little voice on my C25k app told me when I finished my 20 minute run today!

Yes that's right I finally did it. What a complete disaster the past 2 days have been, between me feeling sick on Friday, my kids being constantly sick and babysitting plans falling through, my Friday and Saturday plans to do my run were a complete disaster.

By hook or by crook I was doing this run today. I had hoped to meet my hubby during his lunch break at the gym so he could mind the boys while I did my run on the treadmill. But sadly he couldn't make it. So after I put my bub down for his sleep I got ready and went out into the back yard, which is a decent size. I wasn't happy though. I was having a real princess moment.....Why wasn't the world bowing down to me and doing exactly what I wanted. I didn't want to run in the backyard, I want to run on the treadmill. Even as the little voice on my C25k app was telling me all about today's run, I seriously could have cried.

So I started my 5 minute warm up and realised at about 4minutes that I hadn't turned my HRM on. Oh boy was I cranky (even considered stopping then and there). Then the run started and thankfully the bootiful Adam Levine came crooning through my ipod and Oh yes that boy certainly does move like Jagger. Well that changed my tune, I was happy to keep pace with his delightful voice. Before I knew the little voice was telling me I'd already run for 5 minutes. I nearly cried. On I ran for another 5 minutes and was delighted that my ipod was giving me constantly up beat music. Around the 10 minute mark I got a slow song and I started to panic, but it turns out Bleeding Love by Leona Lewis ain't too bad to run to after all. When the little voice told me I had run for 15 minutes, my arms went up in the air like I had just completed a marathon. And then before I knew...20 whole minutes had passed.

I RAN FOR 20 WHOLE MINUTES!!!

I'm a little shocked that I could actually do it. And I look back over the past couple of days and I can see my excuses shining through. Was I really feeling sick on Friday? or was I just in a state of panic about this run. I blamed my mum yesterday for not being home in time to look after the boys so I could do my run then. But seriously I know how unreliable my mum can be when it comes to positive things. I could have done my run during the day when my bub was sleeping.

It would seem I still have a long way to go when it comes to fighting my demons and ridding myself of my excuses. I'll get there eventually, I know I will.

LJx

PS - Thank you to the gorgeous Janie and Raelene who have been so supportive of my run, mwah to you both xx

Tomorrow will be a very important day!

WHY? I hear you ask....
Well tomorrow is day 3 of week 5 in the C25k program. Tomorrow I have to run for 20 minutes non stop. I won't lie, I'm scared.
In a nutshell I'm scared I won't be able to do it. It's the most I would have run in one go. I actually thought my phone app had it wrong & I checked in with the actually C25k website, but sadly no it is correct. Tomorrow I have to run for 20 minutes. The longest I've ever done is 8 minutes, I'm scared but determined! I'll let you know how I how I go
x

I blame my jeans!

I tossed up about the title of this blog for a few hours. I was going to call it "Why are the 90's tormenting me?"
But I finally decided that it's all my jeans fault. I blame them 100%. You see my current jeans have been falling off me, these are a pair of jeans that have always been tight on me, but not recently, so I felt for sure that I would show a decent loss on the scales this week.
So jumping on the scales this morning I was devastated to discover I only had a 200g loss. You see this should have been a momentous occasion as today I am finally back into the 80's. I guess I was just expecting to be a little further into the 80's than what I am. So I had my sook and went to the gym, 800 calories later I felt much better about my little loss.
But seriously it's not my jeans fault, it's my fault, I haven't been 100% this week, I've had a few blow outs, my kiddies are sick which means broken sleep and just general frustration. But I think maybe this was just what I needed, I've got my determination face back on. I feel like my mojo has finally come back to the party.
I'm going to smash this week!

Blogger challenge week 2

Two weeks in one day, happy to be back blogging and up to date with the challenge, thanks to Jayne here we go with week 2.............
This week is about our workouts.
I've been mixing it up as I like to do. I've been hitting the gym (which I love) and as always I have my trusty Mish dvd's at home for when I can't get to the gym and I love doing the outdoor program too. This round for me is about really pushing myself outside of my comfort zone, and so far to cement that, I've joined in 2 challenges. Last round I couldn't bring myself to join in challenges, I was always convinced I'd fail and didn't want to set myself up for that. But I've discovered, thanks to a very inspirational lady, that failing is ok
Firstly I committed (and secretly enjoying) doing Mean Abs June. Confession be known, I looked at the first few days and committed to doing this. After day 1 I looked at day 30 and nearly fell over, but instead of giving up, cause it's too hard, every day without fail, I complete my mean abs

My other challenge that I committed to was to burn the correct amount of calories every day. 500 per day and 1000 for SSS. Week 1 was a slight disaster seeing me only burning 1900 calories, but I've burnt more this week. I don't think I'll get to my total of 3500 for the week, but as I type this today I've burnt 2520 calories and I'm yet to do my SSS which is planned for this afternoon. So I might get there yet.

I've started running again, which I was absolutely loving last round until I managed a stress fracture in week 4 which ruled out running for the rest of the round. I started the C25k, where I left off and I was really happy that I could cope with that amount of running after having so long away from it. I am sticking to the treadmill this time though (as suggested my my doctor). No more road running until I can officially call myself a Runner :)

Until next week
LJx

Blogger challenge week 1

I'm a little late, but here we go ready to take up the blogger challenge again. Thanks to Jayne

1) Introduce yourself & tell us why your here?

Well hello my name is Melinda and I'm because basically in a nutshell, I'm fat, according to my BMI I'm obese, but I'm not as fat as I used to be. I am a different person to the person I was in January, not only am I 20 + kilo's lighter but my mind is in a different place now. I started this year as a shy, uncertain nearly 40 year old who ran the risk of not being there for the most important people in my life (my husband and 3 beautiful boys). I am now on the way to being the best version of myself and giving my boys the wife & mother they deserve.

2) Why did you decide to join round 2 of Michelle Bridges 12 week body transformation?

Even though I came a long way in round 1, I still have a long way to go. There is still a pesky 20kg to bid farewell to and I still have a very, very long way to go with my mindset. In between round 1 and round 2 I felt very lost and very uncertain and I was a little shocked at how easily my old (bad) habits started to creep back into my normal daily life. This resulted in me gaining 3kg's in between rounds and I was beyond devastated. But I owned it, I know what I did wrong and why I put on weight. But I'm back and I'm here to embed this program in to my psyche and make this my life.

3) How have you prepared for the challenge?

I haven't really done very much in pre season. I did my tasks with little enthusiasm, until I got to my excuses; which was a huge turning point for me last round. I'd saved it till last even though I think it was task 2. Doing my excuses got me right back into the 12wbt mindset and I was pleasantly surprised to discover how much my excuses had changed in 12 weeks. I'd gone from 3 pages of excuses to 1 1/2 pages. In 12 weeks I'd battled many of my excuses that were holding me back and only a handful remain. Even though I know I still have a long way to go, I was very proud of this


Until next time
LJ x

Apologies and Melbourne

I've been a tad neglectful of my blog since the end of round 1 and I do apologise. I have had some major uni work due and that has taken all of my focus of my blogs. But I'm back now and I'm excited to be back on 12wbt and back blogging.

So first things first....there was a little road trip to Melbourne.
WOW what a week away it was. So much fun, accept for a few little hiccups we had a wonderful week away.
The record breaking workout was so much fun and I got to meet a very special lady. My first pic is before the workout, this is with my dear friend Fairlie, she lives in Geelong and was very keen to come along and join in the workout with me. Fairlie has joined up to do round 2. It was so cold, I actually think my teeth are chattering in this photo lol.

Group workout time, these a just a few of the workout that my boys took.

 This one I love, I love my expression in this pic and that I know I'm thinking I'm on stage in a musical theatre production...LOL

The group workout was a heap of fun and even managed to burn a decent amount of calories

AND then a very special moment for me...I got to meet a young lady whom blog's I have been reading all round, a lady who has kept me so motivated and someone I am very proud to call my friend

This is Janie and my youngest little man Cameron.

So after our mammoth workout, we headed back to our hotel and got ready for our night out to celebrate. This was a bit of a disaster, our 10km from the CBD hotel was a lot further than what we thought and that night, due to a comedy of OH SO MANY ERRORS it took us 2 hours to get to the party. I was beside myself by the time we got there, but finally we did and we had a fantastic night.

 This is me and my gorgeous hubby, glad to have a wine in my hand after our trip from hell.

My dear friend Kate, we've been in this together from the start.
What a great night, lots of dancing and drinking, even though it took us 2 hours to get there, it certainly was a fabulous night. I loved seeing the winners up on stage and knowing that many of the winners were part of the 30+ crew, I felt so proud. I saw many of the 30+ girls but I was too shy to introduce myself, I still feel like I'm a nobody and they wouldn't know who I am - something to work on.

As I was leaving the party I got to meet another young lady who was my initial inspiration for my weight loss journey.

This is Angela Wallace and she is the reason I signed up for 12wbt. My starting weight was similar to Angela's starting weight and look at her now, she is gorgeous and such a friendly, lovely person and I was so happy I got to meet her.

Well I think that's all for the moment. I'll be starting the bloggers challenge in the next few days and I hope everyone has had a great start to round 2
LJxx

My tips for a successful round of 12wbt

This is long...................

 

Do the preseason tasks. I always remember this piece of advice during preseason and I kept thing well ok but I don’t really see how it will make a difference..IT WILL. The biggest thing for me in the preseason tasks was getting to the bottom of my excuses, it’s amazing when you actually sit and think about it and I actually found it quite emotional. Excuses I’d been using for years and I had never realised they were excuses.

Michelle Bridges knows better than you, I know this is hard to believe but she really does, listen to her, do what she says. As your about to put that krispy kreme donut in your mouth, ask yourself...”What would Mish say”

Everyone has blowouts...Get over it. Don’t blow it out to a day or a week. “I’ll start again tomorrow” No don’t ...start again right now. Own your blowout and move on. It’s actually quite powerful

Get on the forums, find a local support group. Surround yourself with supportive people, this is such a huge influence and will a defining factor in your success.

Some kitchen tips

This may sound gross but I’ve been doing it for years and I think it’s a brilliant idea; Rinse your mince....ewwww I hear you say. Now I can’t always afford to buy premium, no fat mince, so what I do is brown it off to get all the fat out and then I rinse it in hot water to wash all that nasty fat away, clean your pan with some paper towel and off you go. It’s definitely not as ewww as it might sound.

Measure EVERYTHING! I measured every single little thing, to give you an idea of how bad I am, The banana bread on Mish’s menu, I would weigh the bowl, put all the ingredients in then weigh it again, then I would divide by the serve amount and I would measure up each serve exactly.
When I cut meat, for a stir fry I would count how many pieces I had so I could divide it correctly. Same with veg, I’d count how many beans I have and divide them up exactly evenly. I know it’s so anal, but hey....I’ve lost 20kg so far, so I must be doing something right. Even my hubby would giggle at me every night as I served up dinner.

Cup of water in the sink, doesn’t sound like much, but every utensil you use goes straight into that cup of water...no temptation to lick it then

Speaking of banana bread, make up a batch (make sure it’s Mish’s banana bread). Make it into muffins and freeze them. Perfect if you are running out the door and haven’t had breakfast, perfect for a snack if you are down on calories for the day. I always have the banana bread and low cal brownies frozen in my house. That way when someone pop’s over for a cuppa I have banana bread and brownies ready to go and I am not ruining all my hard work.

Be organised. Every week I would print out the menu plan and shopping list and recipes. I found the weeks I didn’t print out the menu plan (even though I followed it) my week just didn’t flow.

Don’t go out without a Mish approved snack. I don’t leave the house without 3 things, an apple, a museli bar and a pack of sultana’s. That way if I’m delayed, I always have something to eat and I won’t resort to buying something I’ll regret.

Take your bikini before shots, you may not want to. I know I didn’t, but you don’t have to show anyone and comparing your after pic is fun. Take a clothed one too so you can show people how well you’ve done.

Forget about the competition part! This was a big learning curve for me; around week 4 everyone seemed (I know everyone didn’t) to get a top 5% email. I didn’t and around the same time I had to sit myself down and ask myself if I was here to participate in a competition or was I here to lose weight? [LIGHT BULB MOMENT] I’m not here to win a competition, I’m here to lose weight, don’t make it about the competition, cause if you don’t win anything you’ll be disappointed and it’s not about that.

Don’t compare yourself to other people.....OK easier said than done right? Right! I’ve done well, but I still compare myself to other people who have done better. I think it’s human nature to compare yourself, but the cold hard truth is; There will always be someone who loses weight faster than me, there will always be someone fitter than me. All I need to do is be true to myself and do the best that I possibly can.

These are just a few things that have helped me over the past 12 weeks and I'm sure I'll think of many more now that I've actually posted this.

Hope everyone has a successful pre-season and a ripper of a round 2

LJx

My 12wbt Round 1 2012 - Wrap up

At the beginning of this year I weighed 111.4kg....and now I don't, thanks to Michelle Bridges and her 12wbt.

I still can't believe how successful this program has been for me, I'm in denial I think...was I really that big?? Have I really lost over 20kg?? Yes...Yes I have.

So lets see Pre season for round 1 began on 15th Jan 2012 (if memory serves me correctly); this was the day I started calorie counting and by the time round 1 officially began on the 12th Feb 2012 I'd lost 7kg.

As the round started I was quite impressed with myself that I was still going with such enthusiasm, I started exercising 6 days a week as we were told to do, I stuck to my calories, as we were told to do. I found a love for running. Sadly by week 4 I'd hurt my foot and ended up in a boot with a stress fracture. But it didn't stop me; well it kinda did. I was so busy feeling sorry for myself I stopped exercising, but I still ate clean, and it still worked, I was still losing weight, it's all about the clean eating. So as round 1 came to a close....Here's what I lost officially  13.6kg, that's 13.03% of my body weight, I was particularly thrilled with a top 8% email. I also lost 69.5cm off my body....that's massive, I still do a double take at that figure.

Pre season start 111.4 bmi 38.10 (ouch)
Round 1 start    104.4 bmi 35.70 (still obese)
Round 1 finish   90.8   bmi 31.10 (still obese - but so close to overweight)

That's what I lost...But I gained too..
I gained a smile again
I gained some wonderful friends
I gained the ability to walk into shops I haven't been able to enter in nearly a decade.
I feel like I've gained my life back and my children have a mum now who will set a good example for them.

I am still a work in progress, Another 20kg to go until I reach my goal....and for the first time in my life I actually feel like I will achieve it.

LJx

Blogger Challenge - Week 12 Celebration

Woohoo we made it...what a fun 12 weeks it's been and there is certainly a lot less of me than what there used to be. So the last week of our blogger challenge, thanks toWhirlsie

Celebration!
What am I doing to celebrate round 1 coming to a close. Well my reward is Melbourne. I'm packing up all of my family and we're heading to Melbourne for a group workout and a celebration.

I'm really looking forward to it. 3 days in a car with all my boys. I'm looking forward to meeting people I've only met online and most of all I'm looking forward to enjoying a well deserved holiday with my family.

I couldn't think of a better reward for weight loss 

LJx

Blogger Challenge Week 11 - Reflection

  Well here we go Week 11, thanks to Whirlsie

 

1. How are you feeling about the 12WBT program now that you have almost completed it?

I don't want it to end. It's been such a huge part of my life for the past 12 plus weeks. 

I feel very emotional just thinking about 12wbt, it's worked for me. I've finally put my mind to a weight loss program and its worked.

2. Looking back on what you wrote in week 1, did you achieve all that you were hoping to? 

Sadly no, but I still feel like I've achieved a lot. I still have a long way to go and I don't believe I've achieved even half of what I'm capable of yet.

3. Did you find that blogging was beneficial to your 12WBT journey? Will you continue to blog once this round is over?

Yes, Yes, Yes. I've enjoyed blogging and I believe it's helped me in a huge way. It's very therapeutic writing things down. It's helpful and motivating. I do plan to keep blogging and reading all the blogs 

4. Did your exercise go according to plan or  did you have to change it around compared with what you wrote in Week 1?

SIGH.....no! stoopid stress fracture. Before the stress fracture though I was mainly exercising outdoors, with the occasional visit to the gym and the odd at home session too. I liked it that way, a different location always kept me motivated.

5. How did your greatest strength help you this round? Was it as you thought it would?

I listed my greatest strength as my determination. I believe it has helped me, for starters I'm still here, I'm still losing weight. It hasn't always been smooth sailing, but I've owned every stuff up or blow out and I have managed to lose weight every week (accept for week 1 - I'm still reeling over that).

6. Did the fears that you outlined in Week 1 come to pass? How/how not? 

NO...Thank goodness. My biggest fear was failing. And I haven't!

7. What is the most valuable lesson you have learned from this program?

To be accountable. 

It's not someone else's fault that I am the size I am, it's mine and I'm the only one who can do anything about it.

It's not going to happen overnight, be patient, be consistent and it will happen.

8. In question 9 of the Week 1 challenge question, you wrote about your downfall.  How did you go with this challenge over the last 11 weeks?

I think I nailed portion control. I actually think I was a tad anal about it. I measured everything, I weighed everything. I would count bits of meat so I could divide them equally.

Sadly my other downfall, which is a glass or two of vino, managed to creep it's way back in around week 6 or 7 I think. But no where near as bad as I used to be, so I guess that's a small win

9. What is your biggest achievement since the start of the program?  What are you the most proud of?

I'm proud of the way I look now, even though I still have a long way to go. I don't hide the size of my clothes when I'm trying on clothes in stores now.

I'm proud that I actually stuck at this for the 12 weeks. I'm also proud that I understand that this isn't about 12 weeks, it's about a change of lifestyle.

10. Will you be coming back for another round of the 12WBT? 

Hells yeah! I am no where near ready to go this alone, but I think I may have to. My money tree washed away in the last storm.Every so often I need to be sensible and remind myself I'm not made of money. I'm hoping to sign up again for round 3, I'm going to try and do it alone in round 2. Well when I say alone I mean with the support of the 12wbt facebook community. But I can't actually afford to do 12wbt officially.

I'm very scared about this as I don't have that much faith in myself. I heard someone else say "I'll leave it up to the universe" and that's what I'll plan to do too. I'm a big believer of everything happens for a reason; so if I'm meant to do round 2 and/or round 3 the universe will provide.

Until next week

LJ x

Hello my name is Linnijane and my favourite food is...........

10 weeks ago if you'd asked me this question my answer would have been Indian. I love Indian food. The problem with this is, I love samsoa's and cheese naan. So bad, but so yummy - Well so I thought!
The other night I was very naughty, but I've discovered being naughty has taught me a very valuable lesson.

We ordered some Indian food a few nights ago. We haven't had take out since the beginning of pre-season. So with a plan to work it off in exercise, I ordered a cheese naan. One serving of a cheese naan is around 332 calories....WOWEE. In much anticipation I bit into my naan...and OMG it was revolting. I said to my husband, they've changed the cheese, it's not very nice. Not surprisingly he giggled at me. No they haven't changed the cheese, I've changed. I didn't eat my cheese naan, it was revolting and one bite was more than enough.

So today I can without any hesitation tell you that Indian is no longer my favourite food. Actually after last nights dinner I can say that Chinese dumplings are my favourite food.

I conquered a bit of a fear today - This is probably week 9 & week 10's weekly surprises rolled up into one nice neat little package. I did a vblog...........AAARRRGGGHH! I really had no intention of doing one, but reading all the other vblogs I was so inspired and started to worry that I'd regret not doing one. Now mine is nothing fancy, no music, no pics...Just me talking about my 12wbt experience. This was so spur of the moment, that I'm actually still in my pj's (but shhhh don't tell anyone lol). So here it is...be kind :D

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LdcHcR3YKSs

LJx

Week 10 Blogger Challenge - Benefits

  Here we go Week 10 already, seems like only yesterday it was week 1. I'm excited by this weeks challenge, thanks to Whirslie, I must admit I have been focusing a bit this week on how I look now and little things that are so much better now. So here we go

 

What are the benefits you have noticed in the way you look?

 Well just personally, I think the benefits are huge. I don't look so puffy. Although I'm smiling in the first pic, I think I look happier in the second pic. When I showed my hubby this comparison, he asked me if I'd altered the first pic to make myself look bigger....HOLY COW - why would I try to make myself look bigger??? He, like me, didn't realise I had gotten that big, Bless him, I'll always been the 19 year old size 12 he fell in love with (and I wouldn't have it any other way)

What are the benefits you have noticed in your mindset? What breakthroughs have you had along the way?

 

Excuses don't rule my world now. I have realised I was the one holding myself back. Not anyone else. I am very conscious of what I put in my mouth. I don't want to waste precious calories on something crappy that will only fill me up for a short period of time.  I feel happier, I don't seem to be as grumpy as I used to be.

What are the benefits you have noticed in your fitness levels?

 

Sadly not much. Before Bertie the boot came along I had improved my time trial by 1 minute. I was pretty stoked with that. Round 2 will be all about fitness for me.

And finally, what benefits have you noticed in your health?

Only this morning I noticed something huge. When I jumped back into bed at 5.30am this morning after feeding my baby (I know I should have been staying up and heading out for my SSS). I was laying on my side and it occurred to me that It didn't hurt. 20+ kilo's ago any position I lied in hurt after a while, it was almost like my body was collapsing under the pressure of my weight and I needed to moved positions regularly. I don't feel that way any more.

LJx

Blogger Challenge Week 9 - Support!

  Week 9 already. Wow, this has gone so fast, here we go thanks to Whirlsie

 

1. What would you tell yourself at the start of the program in support of yourself?

 

I told myself that I could do and for some reason I actually listened to myself this time. I think I was finally ready to lose weight, I thought I was before but I really wasn't. Now I am. You have to JFDI, don't think about it just do it. Eat clean and exercise...pretty soon it will become second nature. It's ok to fall off the wagon, brush yourself off and jump straight back on.

2. What would you tell those around you that may not have been that supportive?

 

I don't really want to waste my energy on those people. But if I had to tell them something, I guess it would be: Your negativity didn't bring me down and I (despite your lack of support) am becoming the best version of me.

3. Who would you like to thank for being there for you and helping you on your 12WBT journey so far?

 

My most awesomest husband...even this morning he said to me...."Looking Hot Babe"...to which I replied.."still a long way to go". I should have just said Thank you - but I still struggle with compliments about my weight.

My boys (B1, B2 & B3). My gorgeous little 5 year old, who is a SNAG in the making often tells me how pretty I am.

My BFF's, who always cheer me on and support me.

Everyone doing 12wbt or have done it, especially JanieD, my partner in crime Kate, my inspirations Angela Wallace and Tracey F. All the amazingly supportive girls of the 12wbt 30+ crew.

 

LJx 

Blogger challenge - week 8 - Learning

Oopps been a bit slack this week, but I haven't forgotten about the blogger challenge, well shhhh I kinda did, but remembered last night. So here we go Thanks to Whirlsie

1. What has been your biggest learning curve of the program?

 

I feel my biggest learning curve has been learning to eat properly, controlling my portion size. I love food and truth be known, I love all the wrong foods and lots of them. Don't get me wrong I love the healthy food too, but if it came down to carrot sticks and hommus vs. brie and crackers....it's no secret I'd always choose the latter. But I feel with this program that I am learning to choose the right foods 80% of the time. I still have a lot to learn, I'm not going to deny that. I can't change 10+ years of bad habits in 12 weeks. But there are more rounds coming up and I am very aware that I have a long way to go and I need help to do it.

 

2. Have you had to learn something new over the last 8 weeks?

 

I've learnt to cook lots of new dishes, 98% which I have loved and will be cooked again. Most of which will become regulars in our house.

I've learnt to love exercise and to JFDI. It's been killing me since I got the boot on my leg, I've hardly exercised and I'm really missing it.

3. Are you planning on learning a new skill in the future? 

 

Oh yes, I certainly am...as soon as this boot is off my leg I'm going to go back to learning to run and I can't wait.

Happy WWW everyone 

LJx

Danger...Danger Will Robinson

This is how weight loss has worked for me in the past....I lose a few kilos, people start to notice, I start to like the way I look again and BAM just like that I fall off the weight loss wagon. And generally pack the weight back on plus some.

I can actually hear those naughty little voices in my head that telling me that I look ok now. I am trying my hardest to ignore them, because lets face it...According to my BMI, I'm still obese, I still have 25kg's to lose. I still have a long way to go....I keep telling myself.."If you think you look good now, imagine how great you'll look when you're at goal". I've noticed some bad little habits creeping back in over the past 3 weekends. Not the weekdays...just the weekend. I need to sit myself down and give myself a very stern talking to....I want this too much to jeopardise all my hard work.So those naughty little voices can take a short walk of a long pier. :D

Easter is scaring me a little. I've asked everyone to not give me chocolate (I'm sure my mother still will though). I'd rather have a book or (squeeeeeeeeeeee) a new bra (cause the one I have now is tooo big... yippee!). I guess we'll wait and see what the weekend brings...Actually NO, we won't...I am not going to eat any of my kids Easter eggs. I am not going to eat any of my kids Easter eggs. (and one more time for good measure). I am not going to eat any of my kids Easter eggs.

So with this weeks weigh in (week 8)...I have now lost 8.8kg in this round plus my 7kg in preseason has me at 15.8kg lost in total. Plus a whopping 54.3cm gone. I actually hit and smashed my 4 week goal, this time, of 4kgs. I know I mentioned this before, but I don't think I'll hit my end of round goal of being 90kg. I can't seem to change that figure, but I have a new goal now. I would like to be 20kg lighter than when I started preseason, so to be that I need to be at 91.4kg by the 12 week weigh in. Which is just over 4kg to lose...Doable I feel :D

I'm hoping to get to finale, well I've booked accommodation, but now we're actually wondering if we can afford to go as I need to bring my whole family with me, which means a babysitter (anyone who reads this know of any good/cheap babysitters??) so my hubby and I can have a night out. Fingers crossed it all works out, I really want to go, I really want to meet a few of my virtual friends :D....

Hope everyone's having a fab week 8 xx

Blogger Challenge week 7 - Motivation

Here we go Week 7, thanks to Whirlsie

Why did you join the 12WBT?
 I joined 12wbt to lose weight. I joined 12wbt to learn how to look after myself properly (that's really a sad thing to admit). I would never let my kids eat half the crap I used to, so if I looked after my kids so well, why couldn't I look after myself too? Well clearly I couldn't but I feel like I am learning to now.

What has been your biggest achievement to date?
I guess the most obvious one is the weight loss.
Flexing that dreaded willpower muscle, it's a daily struggle but I'm getting better at it.
Running - before I hurt my foot I was running for 5 minutes at a time
A huge thing for me is portion control and I finally feel like I'm getting the hang of it.Mind you I still look at each recipe and think to myself, "that's not going to fill me up"....pffft famous last words! Every time without fail, I am full after each meal.
 
What have you struggled with? 
I really (REALLY) struggle with going out. It seems to be where all my hard work comes undone. I plan...well at least I think I do. I never go out hungry but as soon as I get out it's like I'm possessed, seeing all that "lovely" food or wine that I don't have at home any more and I'm a gonner (This usually ends up being classes as my cheat meal, even though I know it's over calories)

How can you overcome these issues? 
I just have to keep swimming, keep flexing that willpower muscle. One day I'm going to be able to say no!

There's no stopping me now.

LJx

Blogger Challenge week 6

  Wow the half way mark

! What an adventures it's been. My gorgeous hubby and I were discussing only last night about how I haven't given up, cause usually by the 6 week mark of any previous diet I was well and truly back to my evil ways. Not this time though....So here we go, questions from Whirlsie

 

1. What adjustments have you had to make to your exercise regime over the last 6 weeks? 

Well up until I injured my foot a few weeks ago, I'd been exercising 6 times a week from exercising 0 times a week. Between week 1 and week 4 I took a minute off my 1km time trial. I am itching to get back to the regular cardio exercise, I can't wait to start running again. Currently pretty much all I can do is weights, toning and swimming. I haven't been exercising all 6 days since my injury, I do about 3 a week...I know weights are good but I still have a stigma in my head that I'll still be this size with lots of muscle tone and I don't want that.

2. What have you changed in regards to your food intake? 

This is what has changed the most for me, I eat clean now! I was really naughty the other day..I had a sausage roll....OMG I felt so sick afterwards, it was revolting. I am so impressed with the way food that used to be my staple is now just utterly revolting to me.

I follow Mish's meal plan about 95% I will try everything once and if I don't really like it then I'll substitute it for another one of Mish's recipes.

3. What is the difference in your mindset?  

I'm definitely more confident. I don't feel so embarrassed about being out in public. I'm starting to like the way I look again (which can also be a danger for me - more about that in another blog). The food isn't a issue, this is the way I'm eating end of conversation. I still have blow outs, but instead of giving up after each blow out and going into a food coma, now I just get over it and head back to my clean food. I was doing so well with my exercise too, but alas...I may have to concentrate on my exercise in round 2 or 3 (haven't decided which I'll be doing yet)

A huge thing that happened in my mindset only in the past few days is I realised that I probably won't reach my goal this round, initially I was upset with myself for not trying harder, but ..hey...now I don't really mind, cause I know I'll reach it soon after the round finishes and I am now focusing on how far I've come, instead of how far I have to go.

LJx

 

The photo that broke my heart

I was searching through some photo's the other night and I came across the pictures from my 3rd son's christening which was in August last year. I haven't looked at this photo's for a long time and I remembered why...These photo's broke my heart. I hadn't realised how bad my weight had got until I saw these photo's..In my mind I looked fantastic, but the lens doesn't lie.
I'm sharing with you guys because you are so amazingly supportive, and well, lets face it, we're all here for the same reason

This was taken on the 21st August 2011. I weighed 116kg...OMG how did I let myself get so bad???

I'd often hear people talk about THAT moment, the one thing that happened that made them commit to losing weight properly. This photo was my moment, well I thought it was. I joined Weight Watchers after this photo and I half heartedly lost 5kg's by Christmas. I really wanted to join round 3 of 12wbt but talked myself out of it.

I'm so glad I talked myself into 12wbt because...............

This was taken today, I now weigh 98kg. I still have a long way to go but it's really made me realise how far I've come. I love going to the forum post that has the before and after pic's, it's so inspirational and motivating. It's the first place I go when I'm having a bad day.

And my last photo for today.....Meet my new training buddy

I've decided to call him Bertie, we're going to be together for the next 6 weeks. I'm so annoyed and P&%#ed off. But there's nothing I can do about it. I've created my own little circuit of exercises that I can do. I really don't want to lose the level of fitness I've achieved. I'm going to brave a swimming costume and head to the pool for some laps as well.
I remember the day when an injury would have seen me grab a bowl of chips and a bottle of wine and park myself on the couch. But I don't ever, EVER want to be that top picture again.

and lastly before I sign off and do my uni assignments (which is what I really should be doing, not blogging). A huge, massive THANK YOU to everyone to reads this, who comments, who is on the forum, who is on facebook or twitter. The support is amazing and I believe a reason why so many succeed.

Happy rest of week 6 xx

Blogger challenge - week 5

So, what does being healthy mean to YOU?  What is it that has made you start this journey into being a healthier you?

Hmmm what does being healthy mean to me???To be honest, I'm really not sure. I guess it means setting a good example for my kiddies. It's recently occurred to me that my boys are taking after my lazy example. I don't want that for my kids, I want them to be healthy, to exercise, to enjoy the outdoors.

I don't want to die young. That's probably the most alarming thing I think of when I over eat or over drink. I want to be one of those gorgeous oldies you see going for a jog at the crack of dawn, I don't want to be a unhealthy old duck. I want to be fit and fabulous well into my twilight years.

x  

Squeeeeeeeeeee

Those double digits have finally arrived!

I was really nervous about weigh in this week, due to a very bad weekend. A weekend where all the good work I'd done strengthening my will power muscle, was put to shame. But also a weekend, that made me re-commit to 12wbt (not that I'd stopped committing, I just was getting a bit silly on the weekends).

I also had a bit of a suck it up princess moment over the weekend. I was really disappointed with my 3.6kg weight loss since the official start of round 1. How ridiculous! 3.6kg is awesome plus add the 7kg in pre-season. Plus add the 1.6kg loss today, that's a grand total of 12.2kg is 9 weeks....NOW that's perspective! I often need to give myself a good kick up the back side.

I still haven't been to the doc, but my foot is feeling good today. I've completely modified my exercise, lots of walking and I'm looking forward to when I can run again.

Goals have been revisited and modified and I'm excited and determined and ready for the rest of week 5 and beyond!!!

Happy Wednesday weigh in everyone x

PS - Guess I better book in my pedi (my reward for 10kg loss/double digits)

Mini Milestone

Sadly this weekend I didn't do any mini milestone due to a injury. But today I inadvertently achieved what I consider to be a mini milestone.

I pick my boys up from school every day and because I have a big 7 seater people mover, I tend to park where it's easy for me to manoeuvre my car. This usually means parking quite a distance from the school gate and once I get to the school gate I have to walk up the hill to get to my son's class room. This is a trek I do daily, on my own it's easy peasy, but 9 out of 10 times I also have my baby boy with me and I struggle to make this trek every day...it hurts! I get back to my car and sometimes I just want to cry I'm in that much pain from carrying my 10kg+ little man all that way....BUT today..... 
IT DIDN'T HURT!!!

I'm still a little stunned and uber proud that in four weeks (well eight weeks actually). That trek up to the school and back which I had come to dread, actually didn't hurt, it felt great. I got back to my car and it dawned on me that maybe in spite of everything that I had managed to achieve a mini milestone.

Update on my foot - I've had an X-ray, but I still haven't been back to my doc. I did my fitness test on Friday and I couldn't walk for 2 days after so that was a bit silly of me. I'm so bummed about hurting my foot, I was really enjoying running, but I'll just have to re-assess my goals. I went for a walk this morning (it hurt) but it was really nice and I actually burnt more calories than I've ever done in one session....WooHoo, I hit that 500 calorie mark.

I'm dreading weigh in this week. This was the week I was hoping to hit double digits, but after a weekend of indulgence (I need to learn to say NO) at this stage I will be over the moon if I don't put any weight on.

x

Happy...Sad...Cranky....I don't know

I should be happy, but I'm not. I don't know why I'm not happy. Well I kinda do.
As of today I've lost 10.6kg's in total since the beginning of pre-season. Why the heck aren't I jumping for joy?

A frustratingly small loss of 800g today see's me still in the triple digit's. I was really hoping this would be the week for double digits.
But I'm going to have my little sooky la la moment and move on, (hoping this moment won't take all day). I've been assessing why I'm feeling this way and a number of things have led up to it.
I've hurt my foot (I've self-diagnosed a stress fracture). I'm off to the doc today, but I'm so scared that she'll tell me "No more running". I can't help feel really cranky and sad about this. Cranky at myself and sad that if I have done some damage, then it's Good-bye Fun Runs.

I had words with my sister on the weekend, not really words but she really left me feeling down. My sister is one of those genetically bless human beings. Getting a compliment out of her is like drawing blood from a stone. I was sharing with her how well I was doing and how I was worried that my foot was going to hinder my progress and all of a sudden she started snapping at me that there were other things I could do besides running. I could swim or bike ride....UM YES  I know, I was just sharing. There was no focus on the positive for her and it was all quite nasty, like she's waiting for me to give up. I chose not to tell my mother about 12wbt as she has her own weight struggles and is extremely negative, my sister is really hard on her. So I told my sister instead thinking she'd be a more positive influence, but now I find her treating me like she treats our Mum. My mindset is in the right place. Yes I have my down days (like today) but essentially I'm here, I'm losing weight, I'm shrinking, I'm learning new stuff and I'm loving it all.
I think I am realising my sister is also a negative influence just in a different way to my mother. I think I'll start excluding her from my milestones, cause she doesn't make me feel good about myself. Complete strangers are more supportive than her.

I got an email yesterday from another Mum at school, telling me she saw me dropping off my boys and she was blown away by how good I was looking.....THIS is what I should be focusing on. Not the neigh sayers!

So I'm going to drag myself off to the doc today and I'm going to prepare myself for whatever the news is and I'm just going to have to deal with it, whatever it is

Hope everyone has had a wonderful Wednesday Weigh in xx

PS - Almost forgot, I've lost 12cm off my waist in 4 weeks...YAY

Blogger Challenge Week 3

Rewarding Myself....

Wow hadn’t really thought about this one. Being a Mum, it’s not often I think about what to give myself. Sure there’s heaps of things I want but I always manage to put them off.

I guess if I really had to think about what I will reward myself with for losing weight, I really need a pedicure and I feel that will be my first reward. A pedicure will be my reward for hitting double digit’s (which also co-incides with losing 10kg – well 11.6kg to be exact). 

I really also need a haircut...I’m currently in that post euphoric phase of losing my hair after child birth, but this one’s a tricky one I’d also really like to wait to just before finale to get my hair done so it looks all pretty for finale. So that may be my end of 12wbt reward.

I’m sure I will throw in a few shows as rewards too. Currently I really want to see Love Never Dies and I know A Chorus Line will hit Sydney in July...

Physical rewards – I currently have a love/hate relationship with Tricep push-ups, in that I love to hate them. I would love to be able to do 10 of them by the end of the round.

I am looking forward to my two fun runs that I have planned, I kind of look on them as a reward. A reward for my hard work, a reward for learning to run, a reward for changing my lifestyle.

I guess also my biggest reward (and this is one of my goals also) is to have my wedding and engagement ring fit me again. THAT is my biggest reward and I can’t wait till that happens.