Monday, 30 January 2012

Excuses and Commitment

I've been a bit slack with my blogging lately. Life has well and truly taken over at the moment, how's that for a whooper of an excuse.

So the excuses pre-season task, I found that really confronting. It actually took me a few days to figure out what my excuses were and even as I sat down to write down my excuses, I felt they were pretty stock standard. But an amazing thing happened as I started to put my excuses on the website. It was like flood gates opened up and I started to realise the extent  that I will use an excuse. It had never occurred to me that I was actually using these things as excuses. My biggest breakthrough was My Leg.....I had a tumour in my leg when I was a child (about 8 or 9) I had to have a bone removed. But I recovered, my leg is quite strong, it's shorter than my other leg but I wear orthotics so really its fine....Now this was close to 30 years ago (hmm that makes me feel a tad old), but I find myself still using my leg as an excuse not to exercise. It was quite an emotional moment. I always knew I was a self sabotage expert, but I really had no idea what an extreme expert I really was. I've printed out my excuses and I look at them every day just to remind myself of the power of excuses. I've also added a few more since I originally did the task.

I want this so badly and I understand that it won't be easy so committing to this program was not hard. What will be hard is half way through when I plateau, that is when I am going to have to be the strongest I can be. I imagine some re-commitment will be involved. My biggest goal, besides losing 40kg, is to have my wedding and engagement ring fit me again. I am realistic enough to know that I won't lose 40kg in one round. My goal for his round is 10 - 15kg and that should be enough for my rings to fit me again. The rest of the weight will be tackled in future rounds.

Other Stuff!
My first full week of counting calories I lost 2.8kg....YAYAYAYAYAYAY! I was am pretty impressed with that effort...wouldn't it be nice to lose that amount every week?
I have FINALLY started exercising. I high tailed it to the gym on Saturday morning. I am proud to say I was among a handful of people waiting outside my gym for it to open.
Yesterday I did Michelle's Super Shredder dvd.....Oh my WOW do I hurt today....Rest day today and tomorrow after I drop my baby boy at school for his very first day I plan to put all my emotional energy into the Super Shredder dvd again.


Tuesday, 17 January 2012

Ahhh the knockers

I had my first experience with knockers yesterday and normally I'd succumb to such negative talk, but instead I kept my mouth shut, listened to what they had to say and thought to myself...I'll show you.

But truth be known this used to be me. I used to be one of the knockers, but really I was just making excuses, like I always do. I was at Mother's group, we all have 6 -7 month old babies, we all seem to spend each week complaining about our weight, a few of us walk to mum's group each week, but generally ruin it by eating bad food. I've made it public knowledge that I'm doing 12wbt, so naturally I've had some people ask me about it, I've told them what I know so far, I've even had friends who have successfully completed a round of 12wbt also post comments on facebook telling them of their success. But that is still not enough....Again excuses. One friend said to me, it's a lot of money to part with on face value....I will give her that, the website before you pay only gives you the basics of the program....BUT COME ON...ever heard of google, ever seen TBL?? It's so easy to research this program and how well it works if you commit to it.

I toyed around with doing round 3 2011....Are you ready for my excuses: I've just had a baby, I'll fail at this diet too...But I watched peoples results on facebook and twitter and at the beginning of December 2011, some people had lost between 15 - 20kg and it suddenly hit me...WOW if I'd joined round 3, I had the potential to be 15kg's lighter and so -15 kgs more confident. I had my 20 year school reunion also in December 2011, The fact that I could have looked better for that is what really got to me. So then and there I promised myself that I would sign up for the next round... and I did.

So some positives for this week - Yesterday I wrote down what time I was going to eat each meal and OMG, it actually worked. I was shocked it was seriously that simple. I (as you can see) am a serial snacker, afternoons are my worst time of the day. I could polish off my whole calorie allowance between lunch and dinner. But yesterday I didn't touch a thing. I stuck to my meal times and I was so proud of myself.

I weighed in today and I had no loss, but I also had no gain. I'm very happy with this, as I've only been counting calories since Monday and I haven't done any exercise yet, which I really need to address, cause I promised myself 2 exercise sessions this week.

On a final note for today...How awesome are the forums, so many positive, motivational people. It's awesome.


Sunday, 15 January 2012

That's how many calories???????

Day 1 of Pre-Season.
Happy to say my head is in a much better space today, isn't it amazing what a good nights sleep will do?
I've been tracking all my food today and I was shocked to find out the calorie value of one of my favourite lunches. I've always thought it was a healthy alternative...It's still healthy but I think this is going to come down to my portion control.....
Brown rice & salmon salad.....478 calories.
My plan for when I make it tomorrow is to halve the rice I put in (that's 100 calories on it's own) and take out the balsamic dressing (11 calories).
But I also have to remember I am still breast feeding so I do get an extra 500 calories a day. If I didn't have those extra calories I would halve the salmon too (that would be 60 calories). That would make it a perfect lunch at 307 calories.....WOW I think I'm learning!!

But here's my next problem, AFTER LUNCH....The afternoon is when I do most of my snacking and Mish's suggestion of putting a time to each meal suddenly makes perfect sense to me. I had my lunch at's  now 3pm and it's taken every bit of energy I have not to snack, I've drunk lots of water, cleaned, ironed and basically I just keep reminding myself that the urge to snack will disappear soon.

Hope everyone's having a good day 1 of pre season

How I feel today!

I'm nervous, I won't deny it...I'm actually s@*t scared ....Scared of failure! I've failed every other diet...what makes this one so different....Well for starters this one is about changing my life's not a diet. The support is amazing, I'm actually really keen to get started,but today I had a "woe is me" day.

I spent most of today de-cluttering my 2 youngest boys room...It looks amazing now, but I am feeling it. I am in pain, every joint in my body hurts, every muscle aches....I'm tired! My gorgeous hubby said to me...every time you feel like giving up over the next 12 weeks remember how you feel now! Gosh love him's so true, cause I will feel like giving up about a thousand times, but every time I do I'm going to remember how I feel today, how much pain I'm in.

If anyone is reading this I'd love you to promise me (and I will promise you also in return) don't let me give up. I need to do this for myself and for my boys. When I'm feeling so down, for whatever reason, remind me of how I felt today.

I've seen a few posts/blogs by uber organised people, who already have their meal plans done for the week. It's the perfectionist in me that is stressing that I haven't done that yet. But on a brighter note, I've figured out how I plan to exercise during pre season which I think will help me when the official season starts. Ok keep in mind I haven't exercised in over a year (and I was just about to blame being pregnant for most of the year as the reason I didn't exercise). Week 1 of pre season....2 times a week, then 3 times a week, then 4 times a week and final week of pre season I plan to exercise 4 times plus SSS). My figuring is hitting 6 days a week in week 1 should then be easy peasy.

I bought myself a smaller plate yesterday, (I believe it's called a Lunch's a smaller plate - I so lack culture..tehehehe). That's going to be my plate to eat's all in my head, filling my big dinner plate and eating it all, now I'm going to fill my smaller plate and eat it all and I'm going to feel full.

So now I'm going to take my "woe is me" attitude off to bed and get a good night sleep and then I'll be back on board 100% tomorrow for pre season......Bring it on


Tuesday, 10 January 2012

New toys, first weigh in and Inspirational stories/people

New toys!! That sounds a bit funny doesn't it?

It's really quite innocent. My brand new Polar watch arrived yesterday, it's so pretty, naturally it's PINK! (With 3 boys in my life - 4 including my hubby- I often feel the need to be very girlie). I can't wait to use it. I tested it out yesterday and got my resting heart rate, which was around 75-76 beats/min. Which I believe is average. I can't wait to see how that improves over the next few months.

I also jumped on the dreaded scales this morning, I was pleasantly surprised to see I have stayed the same weight as I was 3 weeks before Christmas. I'm looking forward to that triple digit becoming a double digit. I don't think I'm quite ready to share my weight publicly, perhaps when I've got my head around a few demons.

I have been so overwhelmed by the support of the 12wbt community. There are so many people like me, who have the same issues as me, who struggle with their weight, who blame everything else besides the obvious for the way they are. There are so many inspirational stories and people who have achieved so much on 12wbt. I love how determined they have been and I've been so impressed with their phenomenal results. I've joined a local facebook group of other people doing 12wbt, the support on that page is amazing, as it is the forums, which I am reading everyday. This support is something I think is lacking in other weight loss programs. I don't want to say diet, cause this isn't a diet, it's a life style change, it's about taking responsibility.

I did this to me, there is no quick fix, it won't be easy but it will be worth it. I've read this a lot and I love it "Be the best version of me". I can't wait to be the very best version of me that I can be.

Something else I read on twitter (This isn't mine, I am just repeating it) "Don't count the days, Make the days count"

2012 is my year!

Monday, 9 January 2012

What I need to give up and what I need to change

This blog just may be my saviour....Since I started it earlier today, I've had very little else on my mind...I'm on a mission, I want to discover why I do what I do to myself...I hate the way I look, I have for nearly 10 years now, but I continue to create bad habits and sabotage myself
So firstly - Things I need to give up
Alcohol! I am making a promise to myself, no alcohol while on 12wbt
Large portion sizes - What's with that?? why do I feel the need to put so much food on my plate, and then eat it all too.
Left overs - I seriously have an issue with left overs, I clean everyones plate in my house that still has food left on it.
I eat when I'm not hungry....boredom eating.
I use my kids/family as an excuse not to exercise.

So then, what do I need to change?
My self value
My portion size
Boredom eating

My figuring is...I gave up smoking 4 years ago, cold turkey...I can lose 40kg. I think I've proved to myself that I can do something when I put my mind to it. I am officially putting my mind to this, I need/want to look awesome again. I want to walk down the street without the fear that other people are looking at me or judging me. I want to love myself again.

2012 is my year!

Sunday, 8 January 2012

The week before pre season

Nervous much???? Oh yeah.
I'm so determined this time to actually do something about all this extra weight. I've tried every diet and detox under the sun, but I give up too easily. I love to self sabotage, I've become an expert at it. But now I want to become an expert in awesome! I want to be a healthy and fit example to my children.

So what's so different this time?
I've recruited friends to do the 12WBT with me
I'm going to be active in the forums, I've joined groups on facebook
I'm going to blog my journey, I've never blogged before so I have no idea if I'm even doing it right.

2012 is my year!